January 26-27, 2015

I suppose I should've known it was not wise to express my wish not to speak of Godfrey soon, but I did, and not because of it but rather after it, I took the best little tumble down the entryway stairs night before last. I turned my left leg under me, hyper-extending the knee. Oh, how I howled, flashing back as I was to the mishap on the stairs at the cottage at Topinabee, the most recent time I actually broke a bone in one of these falls, three to be exact that day -- ankle, tibia, and fibula.

I know Godfrey was with me then, just as he was the night I did a face plant into the sidewalk rounding the corner for home from a walk with Gus and Charlie in 2010, the time I broke my wrist. I suspect he's been keeping an eye on me for a good bit of my life, at least since 1984 when William Powell gave up his earthly responsibilities of being suave and debonair and slightly pickled. And in spite of my protests otherwise, I suspect whatever pickled state he may or may not have enjoyed has had little-to-no effect on his ability to live up to his heaven-sent task of keeping an eye on me. No, I am virtually certain that Godfrey would say he's been at my side all along, murmuring softly into my ear though loud enough for me to hear, if I would just listen, three things which it would do anyone good to learn: 1) slow down, 2) watch where you're going, and 3) expect the unexpected.

It all adds up to this: take it easy, kid. How the hell d'ya think I lived to be ninety- one, by rushing around? You know how they say what's your hurry? Well, I really want to know: what was so important on Sunday night that you had to go dashing into the entryway? The dog wasn't that concerned about getting out the back door and he was the one whining, for crying out loud! So. Take a breath, pal. You know how getting up from your chair is such an adventure? Well, you have to remember that the thrill ride doesn't stop there.

In fact, let's review your path that night with that advice in mind: #1 and most important, as you rise from your chair, you do the opposite of what any hard-charging fool would do, you slow down. Then in item #2, the second most important thing, as you step carefully toward the door, you watch where you're going, which means you check your path for road hazards, or in the case of Sunday night, steps cluttered with shoes, paper bags, and assorted crap. Finally, in #3, the most difficult task, you expect the unexpected, which is to say who knew that a paper bag could make such friction-free material when placed at the center of an entryway step? Now you do! And you learned it the hardest way of all, by not anticipating all the thousand ways the world can be just slightly askew. By the way, good luck with that last one!

Then, in a voice that combines love, exasperation and the vague condescension of one summing up for the terminally slow, Godfrey puts the cherry on the sundae, as it were: If you don't like my tone, remember that I didn't make the universe, I just report a bit more directly to the one who did than you. However, let me assure you that you can achieve unity with God more quickly than you might like if you do not listen to me when I say, slow down, watch where you're going, and expect the unexpected.