February 13, 2015

I swear to you, I'm just glad to have someone to talk to other than that damn dog, that's all. Did I say that out loud? I'm sorry, Gusser, I didn't mean it. I'd much rather talk to my trusty, if only vaguely comprehending, canine than an imaginary guardian angel who takes the form of William Powell in the beloved screwball- comedy-with-a-conscience, My Man Godfrey. It's just the business of talking back that's the rub, you see.

The days, they do drag on in this shortest longest month, Godfrey. And as February resolutely refuses to yield to March, I am thankful for your presence, as well as your incredibly helpful advice about how to remain upright, even as I don't care who thinks I've gone a little bit Harvey at this point. Them that know me are fully aware of where I stand on angels (Would say I don't trust 'em, but I'd have to believe in 'em first. Which I DON'T). As for them that don't know me, fuck 'em up the ass with a red hot poker, I say.

Could be a touch of cabin fever. That, or a heavenly visitation. Though I'd be hard pressed to tell the difference right about now. When I think about it, it's not hard, though: if cabin fever, I can't conjure up Godfrey's voice; if the other, I can. In fact, I would bet you one million dollars of someone else's money that while no empirical evidence of Godfrey's presence can be produced that if I believe in him (which by the way, I DON'T), I can hear and reproduce that voice.

"What am I, a trained seal to you? A handy phenomenon to be called upon whenever you're ready, to be ventriloquised into being? I don't think so. In the future, should you call upon me, please need me. Otherwise, trust that I will make my presence known when it is truly required, not one minute before and certainly not one second after. Have I made myself clear?

"And a-noth-er. thing, nor am I a genie whom you can call upon anytime you need confirmation of magic in the world: 1) I'm not magic, but rather a manifestation of divine providence; 2) genies (which by the way ONLY EXIST IN STORIES) take orders, I do not; and 3) I neither come nor go, but rather stay with you at all times, keeping watch and offering my help if only you would take it.

"Can't you feel my presence next to you even now?"

Wow! Holy crap, Gus, remind me to restrict my conversations to you in the future. I can trust you to keep them one-way, and not to send any involuntary shivers down my spine, eh canine?