John Hanley’s Summer 2002 Top Ten Cool Things
John Hanley’s Summer 2002 Top Ten Cool Things
#5: Harold Lloyd Films on TCM
10. 2002 MINI Cooper
I spent the summer obsessing about what is merely the coolest little German-British sports car in the world. I test-drove one in Chicago, contemplated hitching a ride back to South Carolina with my sister-in-law to buy one, then finally settled for ordering one through Bavarian Motor Village in Eastpointe. It’s due on these shores sometime in September. You will understand why this is cool the instant you set eyes on it.
9. Giant Asian Smog Cloud Threatens Millions
Is that not the coolest Yahoo News headline ever, or what? Cool because it’s like a Godzilla movie, only real.
8. tcj.com Message Board
The Comics Journal is the only magazine that accords comics the critical respect they deserve, and their message board at tcj.com is an never-ending debate about anything-but-Batman. Checking the board over a cup of coffee most every morning was a great way to start my day, especially on those mornings when my son, Jack, came down and snoozed on the futon in the den. This was cool because there’s nothing like an entertaining waste of time that actually turns out to be worthwhile now and then.
7. Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots
Every few months or so, I spend a hundred dollars or so on CDs at Amazon. I got this one by The Flaming Lips in the last batch, and I gotta say, it is the most whacked-out, deep, funny, tuneful, totally unique CD I have heard in a while. This is cool because it shows that any musical form is capable of renewal-- even, of all things, psychedelic rock.
[Runners-up: The Pet Sounds Sessions by The Beach Boys, Catch-All by Swag]
6. The Adventures of Sock Monkey
This was the best alternative comic I read all summer. In it, a sock monkey has a bunch of adventures with a stuffed cloth crow. A house is set on fire, a bat sinks its teeth into a neck of a mouse, a blue jay is trussed up and brainwashed into believing in fairies and elves. Hilarity ensues. Cool because I love it when images are fused into my brain, never to fade for all eternity.
[Runners-up: Perfect Example by John Porcellino, The Golem’s Mighty Swing by James Sturm]
5. Harold Lloyd Films on TCM
This is what you’re up against: the artistic highlight of my summer was watching a series of silent comedies from the 1920’s: Safety Last, Girl Shy, Hot Water, The Kid Brother, all starring Harold Lloyd. In one of these a man wrestles a live turkey on a crowded streetcar while a crab crawls up his pant leg. This was cool because I’ve always been curious about Lloyd’s work and when I finally got to see some it turned out to be really funny, and really good.
[Runners-up: Scrubs (Christmas episode) (NBC), The Wire (HBO)]
4. Starbucks
Safe, legal, inexpensive, coffee’s my drug of choice, so to have a Starbucks open
within walking distance of my home was, as the young people would say, the bomb.
It’s kind of a character-less little joint, and the baristas are erratic, but when
they hit the spot, the results are entirely satisfactory. If I’m talking twice as
fast as the usual hyper-speed, you’ll know I went for the triple cappuccino that
day. This is cool because every corner should have a Starbucks and now mine does.
3. Fun With Walter and Jack
Some fun things I did with my sons Walter (age 5) and Jack (age 3) during the summer: went out for breakfast with each one at his favorite restaurant; chased them around the yard and sprayed them with the hose; bought them sleeping bags and cots and slept out in a tent in our backyard; went to a Toledo Mud Hens game and ate hot dogs and cotton candy; sat around Starbucks drinking coffee/hot chocolate and reading The New York Times. This was cool because I love being a dad, and I love hanging out with my boys, and I had a great time doing that this summer.
2. Charles Preston Hanley
Charlie’s going on four months old, and we call him our cinder block. He must
weigh twenty pounds, he’s the spittin’ image of his mother, and he’s being pretty
darn patient about teaching me how to take care of him. With Julie at work two
week-nights and every other weekend, that process is coming along nicely, thank
you, so I have no complaints. Far from it. In fact, I want you to imagine me
singing to him while I rock him to sleep at night. That, folks, is a picture of
pure joy, and that is very, very cool.
1. Julie Boyer Hanley
Ten reasons why I am lucky to be married to my wife: 1) she’s a great cook; 2)
she’s a super mother to our children; 3) she’s a hottie; 4) she likes the same
movies I do; 5) she turns me on to good books; 6) she said the MINI Cooper could
be my birthday present, then bought me CDs and a cool book anyway; 7) she fights
fair; 8) she has beautiful golden blonde hair; 8) she laughs at my jokes; 9) she
has a mind of her own; 10) she loves Letterman, not Leno. Add in the fact that
Julie has made possible just about every good thing that has happened to me over
the past ten years, and you should have a pretty good idea why she’s my number one
cool thing this and every summer.